Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Sega Genesis

Now, I love the Nintendo Entertainment System; it rocked the fucking casbah! But still, the Sega Genesis had an even bigger impact on me, because although I grew up playing Zelda and Mario, Sega Genesis was the hottest thing at the time when i was at the perfect age to start becoming a "gamer". I've got a lot of fond memories of playing Sega Genesis with my cousins when we were really little. So many memories, in fact, that I was stumped as to what games I should put on a Top 10 Sega genesis games list.
So, I made a Top 15, and split the entry up into two parts because I'm that goddamn clever. Right?
So, here's 15 through to 11 of my Top 15 favourite Sega Genesis games ever.

To this day, this is still the most fun basketball video game (probably even the most fun sports video game) I have ever played. The music was cool, the commentator's commentary was really funny, and it had real pictures of all the ball players. Plus, there were a few secret characters...including the motha-fucking fresh Prince himself, Will Smith! I mean, come on, what other video game lets you actually "shoot some b-ball outside of the school" with the Prince? The answer is: no other game.

This was a really cool flying/shooter. Instead of being in a random generic plane that shot bullets or missiles at tanks and stuff (booooring), you were a knight flying on a pegasus, shooting fireballs out of your magic sword and beating the living crap out of a bunch of creatures straight outta Greek mythology: medusa, cyclops, fire-beings, they were all there. I liked this game so much, that when I started writing a novel, I named one of my characters after it!

This game had a pretty nifty concept to it. You were some fat fuck with a blonde ponytail and sunglasses who draws comic books for a living. Then one day, there's a lightning storm and you get zapped into your own comic, where you have to fight your own creatures and supervillains and stuff. the fact that every level looked like pages of a comic book was just plain awesome. It's not the best game in the world, but if you like comics and games, you should play it at least once.

I remember renting this, having never seen the TV show, and thinking: this is one of the funniest games I've ever played! I've only been through a couple of levels of the first one, but I've never actually played that one all the way through. This game made we love EWJ, though. I bought all of his action figures after. Nothing is more fun than catching puppies (who have been thrown out of a window by the bad guy) on a huge marshamllow while classical Italian music plays in the background.

I know, I KNOW! A video game where M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E is the main character! But in truth, Mickey had a bunch of really fun games for the Genesis. Castle of Illusion was my favourite, though. You gotta go through a bunch of doors in this castle and collect seven gems so that you can build a rainbow bridge to get to the last boss, the evil queen/witch from Snow White, who basically fights and even moves exactly like Dracula at the end of Castlevania II. If you beat her, then you save Minnie, and she gives you a kiss.
Best. Ending. Ever.

Stay tuned, you sexy animal, you, for the secxond part of my Top 15 list. Coming soon. Really soon. Hell, I'll probably start writing it as soon as I'm done with THIS piece of crap.
I love you.

-the NBA Jam commentator

No comments: