I started reading this novel called The Templar Legacy, by some guy named Steve Berry. Less than a chapter into it, I began experiencing severe deja vu...mainly because the book has the exact same plot as The Da Vinci Code! And it came out two years after it. Check it out, here is the jacket text of The Da Vinci Code:
"While in Paris on business, Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon
receives an urgent late-night phone call...As Langdon and a gifted
French cryptologist, Sophie Neveu, sort through the bizarre riddles,
they are stunned to discover a trail of clues hidden in the works of
Da Vinci...In a frantic race through Paris and beyond, Langdon and
Neveu find themselves matching wits with a faceless powerbroker
who appears to anticipate their every move. Unless they can decpiher
the labyrinthine puzzle, the Priory's secret -and an explosive ancient
truth- will be lost forever."
Now, here is the jacket text of The Templar Legacy:
"Onetime U.S. operative Cotton Malone teams up with his former
supervisor, Stephanie Nelle, to find the legendary cache of wealth
and forbidden knowledge thought to have been lost forever when
the Knights Templar were exterminated in the fourteenth century.
Nelle is armed with vital clues to a series of centuries-old puzzles
scattered across Europe, but also in pursuit of the historic prize is a
shadowy zealot with an army of assassins at his command. At the
end of the trail lies a discovery that could rock the civilized world-
and, in the wrong hands, bring it to its knees."
Interesting...I'm really eager to finish this book now, so I can see if the rest of the story is as original as it sounds.
But while I'm on the subject, I got thinking about what Seth Rogan's character says in Knocked Up, about two similar kinds of movies that come out around the same time, and one always seems to do better than the other. Here are some dynamic duos I thought of that bear eery similarities:
A Bug's Life / Antz
A hard-working ant drone tries to protect his beloved colony from danger.
Armaggedon / Deep Impact
An enormous asteroid threatens to collide with earth and cause lots of death & pain and stuff.
Finding Nemo / Shark Tale
Colourful fish characters befriend vegetarian sharks.
Troy / King Arthur
The epic battles of a historical war shown in vivid, gory detail...just, you know, with hunks.
Madagascar / The Wild
A lion and some other exotic animals escape from the Central Park zoo in order to find their way back home to Africa.
The Prestige / The Illusionist
Feuding magicians struggle to keep their secrets from being revealed.
Inkheart / Nim's Island / The Spiderwick Chronicles / Bridge to Terabithia
A beloved children's fantasy adapted into a movie that nobody has any interest in seeing, because it blows.
Small Soldiers / Transformers
Okay, so they didn't come out at the same time. There were years between them. But still, exact same plot: a teenage guy buys a machine, only to quickly discover that the machine has a robotic mind of its own. He learns that there are two different teams of machines: the colourful good guys, with peaceful personalities; and the militaristic bad guys, who are constantly trying to make war. Devoting all of his help to the good machines, the teenage guy teams up with the hot girl he has a crush on and battles against the evil machines until victory is achieved.
Hell, the dad in both movies is played by the same actor. Look it up.
Anyway, I've done enough ranting for one night. So remember, please don't make illegal copies of DVDs: those Hollywood mega-zillionaires really need the money.
;)
"Da Vinci Code fans might experience a bit of deja vu, but The Templar Legacy is more thrilling."
-RedEye Chicago
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
The Post That Almost Wasn't, But Then Was
Internet is BACK.
Now I can blog more like I promised you all. If the last few Hatch-related posts have seemed a little obscure, a little uninteresting, or just plain fucked up, I apologize sincerely. There was very little oxygen in that Hatch, and thinking kinda became a chore.
Actually, since I'm in a penitent mood, I have two other apologies to make.
Apology #1: In a previous post, I quoted from Lost and listed a character's name as Miles Faraday, when his name is actually supposed to be DANIEL Faraday. But, like I said, oxygen...
Apology #2: Mark Wahlberg, I'm really, REALLY sorry I ran over your cat. Please don't do what you said you'd do with a cheese grater next time we meet. Bygones, okay?
There. Now that my conscience is clear and my brain can breathe, things can continue here at STO like they always have: slowly, dully, and inexplicably plastered with bright red letters.
I'll see you all soon. Real soon.
;)
"I'm the Cashman! I give you money for your gold!"
-Russel Oliver
Now I can blog more like I promised you all. If the last few Hatch-related posts have seemed a little obscure, a little uninteresting, or just plain fucked up, I apologize sincerely. There was very little oxygen in that Hatch, and thinking kinda became a chore.
Actually, since I'm in a penitent mood, I have two other apologies to make.
Apology #1: In a previous post, I quoted from Lost and listed a character's name as Miles Faraday, when his name is actually supposed to be DANIEL Faraday. But, like I said, oxygen...
Apology #2: Mark Wahlberg, I'm really, REALLY sorry I ran over your cat. Please don't do what you said you'd do with a cheese grater next time we meet. Bygones, okay?
There. Now that my conscience is clear and my brain can breathe, things can continue here at STO like they always have: slowly, dully, and inexplicably plastered with bright red letters.
I'll see you all soon. Real soon.
;)
"I'm the Cashman! I give you money for your gold!"
-Russel Oliver
FREEDOM
It's finally happened.
After 229 days of living in the subterranean Hatch with
1) little to no access to the outside world
2) zero access to most of my personal belongings
3) the inability to open or look out of a window
4) THAT FRIDGE!
5) no bedroom. No bed, for that matter
6) no Internet connection
7) shitty phone reception
8) no microwave or dishwasher
9) three Asian children running and stomping like crazed wildebeests on the floor above me
10) that Fridge again, and
11) the clinically-psychotic drivers of Thorn Hill, who should all be locked away and given a year's worth of anger management before ever being allowed behind the wheel of a vehicle again,
I have finally moved back to B-Town! Close to friends, familiar territory, a dishwasher, a bed, a quiet fridge, Internet access, and drivers who weren't trained by Nazi combat tacticians.
Hallelujah! I am glad to be back. So until next time, there's only one thing left to say:
Day One out of the Hatch...
Stay tuned.
After 229 days of living in the subterranean Hatch with
1) little to no access to the outside world
2) zero access to most of my personal belongings
3) the inability to open or look out of a window
4) THAT FRIDGE!
5) no bedroom. No bed, for that matter
6) no Internet connection
7) shitty phone reception
8) no microwave or dishwasher
9) three Asian children running and stomping like crazed wildebeests on the floor above me
10) that Fridge again, and
11) the clinically-psychotic drivers of Thorn Hill, who should all be locked away and given a year's worth of anger management before ever being allowed behind the wheel of a vehicle again,
I have finally moved back to B-Town! Close to friends, familiar territory, a dishwasher, a bed, a quiet fridge, Internet access, and drivers who weren't trained by Nazi combat tacticians.
Hallelujah! I am glad to be back. So until next time, there's only one thing left to say:
Day One out of the Hatch...
Stay tuned.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, December 15, 2008
Day 91 in The Hatch.
Several new books have arrived through the secret tube-post I've managed to set up within the walls, after I dug my way through some stucco for two weeks with nothing but the handle of a salad fork. Now I keep myself busy reading book after book on Greek mythology and Narnian magic and Stonehenge. The light from the oil lamp is far too dim to read by, but the main lights have chemicals in the bulbs that make me dizzy after they've been on for more than 5 minutes.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though; a bleak promise of hope and redemption ahead. In the meantime, I'll just have to continue pushing the button and scratching the days off on the wall until the time comes. Luckily, I managed to get a hold of one of those chocolate-a-day Christmas calendars, so the act of counting down days comes with a yummy (if not waxy) little treat.
THAT FRIDGE.
The noise it makes grows exponentially with each passing week. It's a good thing credit is finally coming in where credit is due, thanks to the good people at the Hanso-Mittelwerk-Vincent corporation. With it I can acquire new ammunition for my headphones, and thus block out the noises the fridge makes. Merciful Poseidon, PLEASE kill that fridge.
Actually, wait a little while before you kill it. there's still some eggnog left inside.
Free Tibet.
"Half the stuff he says goes way over my head, the other half goes way, WAY over."
-Frank Lapidus, discussing Dr. Miles Faraday
Several new books have arrived through the secret tube-post I've managed to set up within the walls, after I dug my way through some stucco for two weeks with nothing but the handle of a salad fork. Now I keep myself busy reading book after book on Greek mythology and Narnian magic and Stonehenge. The light from the oil lamp is far too dim to read by, but the main lights have chemicals in the bulbs that make me dizzy after they've been on for more than 5 minutes.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, though; a bleak promise of hope and redemption ahead. In the meantime, I'll just have to continue pushing the button and scratching the days off on the wall until the time comes. Luckily, I managed to get a hold of one of those chocolate-a-day Christmas calendars, so the act of counting down days comes with a yummy (if not waxy) little treat.
THAT FRIDGE.
The noise it makes grows exponentially with each passing week. It's a good thing credit is finally coming in where credit is due, thanks to the good people at the Hanso-Mittelwerk-Vincent corporation. With it I can acquire new ammunition for my headphones, and thus block out the noises the fridge makes. Merciful Poseidon, PLEASE kill that fridge.
Actually, wait a little while before you kill it. there's still some eggnog left inside.
Free Tibet.
"Half the stuff he says goes way over my head, the other half goes way, WAY over."
-Frank Lapidus, discussing Dr. Miles Faraday
Thursday, October 23, 2008
The Fridge and how I HATE It With The White-Hot Fury of a Thousand Suns
Day 38 in the Hatch.
Today there was some actual sunlight streaming in through the "windows". I miss sunlight. Of course, it was not enough to read by, so i had to turn the electric lights on anyway. The Chinese people upstairs continued to slam and crash, and one of them even thre something down at my front door that sounded suspiciously time a time bomb. I've yet to check it out.
But yeah, reading. That's how I spent the past few days. reading old issues of "Cable & Deadpool" until my eyes went wonky. But God bless that man Deadpool. Cable's alright in small doses, but I can never get enough of that lovable, scarred ninja/mercenary.
Life would be simple in the Hatch except for...
THE FRIDGE.
Oh, in the name of all that is sacred, by the Christian and Jewish and Muslim and Hindu and Buddhist and Islamic and Scientologic gods, how I HATE THAT FUCKING FRIDGE.
The Fridge...
It haunts my dreams, I tell ya. It's enough to drive a lesser man insane. And I AM a lesser man! I mean, sure, it keeps stuff cold likel tis supposed to...but the freezer doesn't work!
What the shit is that? So, the thing is louder than all holy hell, but it can't even make ice cubes? That gods-forsaken thing makes more noise than a malfunctioning, 18-wheeled air brake dump drike driving through a nitrogycerine plant on the 4th of July...but I can't buy ice cream if I want to!!!!!
I hate it. the fridge must die. The fridge WILL die. Yes. Yes!
Somebody save me. By anstonishing coincidence, that is the start of the theme song to "Smallville".
Lois Lane, I love you.
But I HATE that fucking fridge.
Help.
"When people think they're alone, that's when you see them for what they really are: selfish, deceitful...and gassy."
-Claude, the Invisible Man
Today there was some actual sunlight streaming in through the "windows". I miss sunlight. Of course, it was not enough to read by, so i had to turn the electric lights on anyway. The Chinese people upstairs continued to slam and crash, and one of them even thre something down at my front door that sounded suspiciously time a time bomb. I've yet to check it out.
But yeah, reading. That's how I spent the past few days. reading old issues of "Cable & Deadpool" until my eyes went wonky. But God bless that man Deadpool. Cable's alright in small doses, but I can never get enough of that lovable, scarred ninja/mercenary.
Life would be simple in the Hatch except for...
THE FRIDGE.
Oh, in the name of all that is sacred, by the Christian and Jewish and Muslim and Hindu and Buddhist and Islamic and Scientologic gods, how I HATE THAT FUCKING FRIDGE.
The Fridge...
It haunts my dreams, I tell ya. It's enough to drive a lesser man insane. And I AM a lesser man! I mean, sure, it keeps stuff cold likel tis supposed to...but the freezer doesn't work!
What the shit is that? So, the thing is louder than all holy hell, but it can't even make ice cubes? That gods-forsaken thing makes more noise than a malfunctioning, 18-wheeled air brake dump drike driving through a nitrogycerine plant on the 4th of July...but I can't buy ice cream if I want to!!!!!
I hate it. the fridge must die. The fridge WILL die. Yes. Yes!
Somebody save me. By anstonishing coincidence, that is the start of the theme song to "Smallville".
Lois Lane, I love you.
But I HATE that fucking fridge.
Help.
"When people think they're alone, that's when you see them for what they really are: selfish, deceitful...and gassy."
-Claude, the Invisible Man
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
4*8*15*16*23*42
....................................................
/////////////////////////////////1001010001010100101001111110100100110110111110
4-8-15-16-23-42
I've been living in the Hatch for 29 days now.
No cell phone signal.
No Internet access.
No windows. You heard that right, no windows. the only natural lighting I get is from my body's own healthy, nuclear glow.
I've had very little chances to contact the outside world. I've being watched very closely. I haven't been allowed to leave yet, and they certainly don't want me contacting anyone on the outside. If they found out I was posting this...well, they'd better not.
The only thing that can save me now is money. lots and lots of money. If you have any, PLEASE send it to me. any cash amount over one dollar would be appreciated. If you're just gonna send pennies, you're a cheap jerk.
SAVE ME.
/////////////////////////////////1001010001010100101001111110100100110110111110
4-8-15-16-23-42
I've been living in the Hatch for 29 days now.
No cell phone signal.
No Internet access.
No windows. You heard that right, no windows. the only natural lighting I get is from my body's own healthy, nuclear glow.
I've had very little chances to contact the outside world. I've being watched very closely. I haven't been allowed to leave yet, and they certainly don't want me contacting anyone on the outside. If they found out I was posting this...well, they'd better not.
The only thing that can save me now is money. lots and lots of money. If you have any, PLEASE send it to me. any cash amount over one dollar would be appreciated. If you're just gonna send pennies, you're a cheap jerk.
SAVE ME.
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