Because of its huge hype and apparently inevitable position at the top of the list of the most profitable movies ever, there's not much to say about Jimmy C's newest epic wonderfest that hasn't already been said somewhere else, by a more articulate speaker than me.
But opinion-wise, I enjoyed it lots & lots. The Sigourney Weaver/mech suit "Alien" callbacks were very cool. The Na'vi looked awesome. Quaritch was a great villain. Pandora was a well-imagined and admirably detailed world. The story was simple yet entertaining. This movie felt like it had already been a 20-year-old classic from the moment it was released.
Cameron says he has two sequels planned, so I'm really looking forward to "Avatars" and "Avatar3", and then, inevitably, some new director will take over and bring us "Avatar Ressurection", which will be poorly-received by audiences worldwide, placing the whole Avatar franchise into limbo until, 20 years later, somebody decides to revivie it by making "Avatar vs. Cloverfield". But that only makes things worse.
I grant upon Avatar all the love of Ewah, as well as an 86%.
;)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
"The Third Policeman": It's NOT About A Bicycle
The Third Policeman is a book by Flann O'Connor, who is so obviously Irish it's not even funny.
The book, on the other hand, is VERY funny. It's more of an absurdist humor, though. In layman's terms, that means WACKY. i.e., if you have trouble understanding things that make very little sense (such as an infinite number of increasingly smaller treasure chests inside one another) then chances are you won't find this book very funny at all.
But I enjoyed the craziness of it all, and the twist at the end was "neat" as they said in the 1970s. The bicycles becoming human (and vice versa) was an astounding bit of creativity on the author's part. A lot of de Selby philosophy bogged it down a bit, though, and I'm still not 100% sure id the guy was real or not. If not, then O'Connor went to some great freaking lengths just to write down all of ideas and beliefs.
All in all, an enjoyable read. Short & sweet, but a bit lacking in palces for inexplicable reasons. I give it 73% on the Cycle-o-Meter.
;)
The book, on the other hand, is VERY funny. It's more of an absurdist humor, though. In layman's terms, that means WACKY. i.e., if you have trouble understanding things that make very little sense (such as an infinite number of increasingly smaller treasure chests inside one another) then chances are you won't find this book very funny at all.
But I enjoyed the craziness of it all, and the twist at the end was "neat" as they said in the 1970s. The bicycles becoming human (and vice versa) was an astounding bit of creativity on the author's part. A lot of de Selby philosophy bogged it down a bit, though, and I'm still not 100% sure id the guy was real or not. If not, then O'Connor went to some great freaking lengths just to write down all of ideas and beliefs.
All in all, an enjoyable read. Short & sweet, but a bit lacking in palces for inexplicable reasons. I give it 73% on the Cycle-o-Meter.
;)
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
"Finding Lost, Season 5": The Penultimate Pleasure
Aside from finally being able to see my name in print, there were so many great aspects of this book that I just couldn't name them all. Basically, if you like the show and follow it religiously as I do, then you'll find a gold mine of information.
This is the fourth book in Nikki Stafford's "Finding Lost" series. The first book covered Seasons 1 and 2, the second book covered Season 3, and the third covered Season 4. They're just chock full of detailed info and interesting facts that'll make even the most die-hard fans raise their eyebrows in surprise. Can't wait for the last one!
I give this book 9 Compasses out of 10.
This is the fourth book in Nikki Stafford's "Finding Lost" series. The first book covered Seasons 1 and 2, the second book covered Season 3, and the third covered Season 4. They're just chock full of detailed info and interesting facts that'll make even the most die-hard fans raise their eyebrows in surprise. Can't wait for the last one!
I give this book 9 Compasses out of 10.
"Saw VI": It Never Ends
The "Saw" franchise is fucking mind-blasting, and it's remained one of the most consistent and entertaining movie franchises ever. There's only one problem: it never ends!
When the posters were first going up for "Saw VI", they said it would be the final film. I thought that was awesome, we'd get closure on the story and find out the fates of all the characters. But no, they lied. The studio wants more money, so "Saw VII" is already in the works. Okay, I thought. there are 7 Harry Potter movies, 7 a'int such a bad number. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! The studio wants even more money than that so, sorry, but "Saw VIII" is gonna have to be made too.
On the TV show "LOST", the writers' dreams came true when ABC told them they could end the show after the sixth season. It was a breath of fresh air to be able to write episodes knowing how the ending would pan out, and how long it would take to get them there. Well, the "Saw" films are almost as complex as "LOST"; why the fuck can't the producers be sensible and do the same damn thing? These movies would be so much more amazing if we would only know which one of them was gonna answer all our questions!
Anyway, "Saw VI" was great, way better than the last installment, which was arguably the series' weakest link. It contained a bunch of great twists, like any good "Saw" movie should, and ended with a very interesting and gory cliffhanger.
I want more! (But not another 9 more, okay, guys? Please don't turn this into "The Land Before Time". As great as these movies are, if I see a marquee for "Saw XXVIII", I'm gonna shoot somebody).
I give this movie 8 Rusty Reverse-Bear Traps out of 10.
When the posters were first going up for "Saw VI", they said it would be the final film. I thought that was awesome, we'd get closure on the story and find out the fates of all the characters. But no, they lied. The studio wants more money, so "Saw VII" is already in the works. Okay, I thought. there are 7 Harry Potter movies, 7 a'int such a bad number. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! The studio wants even more money than that so, sorry, but "Saw VIII" is gonna have to be made too.
On the TV show "LOST", the writers' dreams came true when ABC told them they could end the show after the sixth season. It was a breath of fresh air to be able to write episodes knowing how the ending would pan out, and how long it would take to get them there. Well, the "Saw" films are almost as complex as "LOST"; why the fuck can't the producers be sensible and do the same damn thing? These movies would be so much more amazing if we would only know which one of them was gonna answer all our questions!
Anyway, "Saw VI" was great, way better than the last installment, which was arguably the series' weakest link. It contained a bunch of great twists, like any good "Saw" movie should, and ended with a very interesting and gory cliffhanger.
I want more! (But not another 9 more, okay, guys? Please don't turn this into "The Land Before Time". As great as these movies are, if I see a marquee for "Saw XXVIII", I'm gonna shoot somebody).
I give this movie 8 Rusty Reverse-Bear Traps out of 10.
"The Lovely Bones": Metaphorical Bones, You Sicko
Long story short, this book was a stunner!
Susie Salmon gets raped & murdered, then spends the entire book narrating on her observations from heaven, as she watches her family struggle through the turmoil of her death.
What a fascinating idea for a book; personally, I'm surprised someone didn't do this sooner! The author does a great job covering all the different aspects of loss (and coping with it) that the Salmons go through, as well as painting us a terrifying and creepy villain in George Harvey. But what she does best is write about some of the most mundane, routine aspects of human life, and never once does it seem boring or slow the pace of the book.
The scene where Jack teaches his son how to play Monopoly and tells him of his sister's death all at the same time is the stuff of tear-jerking awesomeness, as is the very end of the book. Since you see the story through Susie's eyes the entire time, a small part of you can't help but hope that her family will get to see her/say goodbye. But in the end, her death is as real as any death: the Salmons never see her again, but they learn to accept that, and life continues on. The end is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once.
I give this book 9 Lovely Bones out of 10.
Susie Salmon gets raped & murdered, then spends the entire book narrating on her observations from heaven, as she watches her family struggle through the turmoil of her death.
What a fascinating idea for a book; personally, I'm surprised someone didn't do this sooner! The author does a great job covering all the different aspects of loss (and coping with it) that the Salmons go through, as well as painting us a terrifying and creepy villain in George Harvey. But what she does best is write about some of the most mundane, routine aspects of human life, and never once does it seem boring or slow the pace of the book.
The scene where Jack teaches his son how to play Monopoly and tells him of his sister's death all at the same time is the stuff of tear-jerking awesomeness, as is the very end of the book. Since you see the story through Susie's eyes the entire time, a small part of you can't help but hope that her family will get to see her/say goodbye. But in the end, her death is as real as any death: the Salmons never see her again, but they learn to accept that, and life continues on. The end is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once.
I give this book 9 Lovely Bones out of 10.
"9": Ragdolls & General Confusion
When "Star wars" first premiered on Memorial Day, 1977, it thrust fans into an unfamiliar galaxy, filled with unfamiliar vehicles and creatures, and unfamiliar planets inhabited by unfamiliar characters, all set to the backdrop of an unfamiliar war. People LOVED it.
"9" thrusts us into an unfamiliar reality, on our own planet, with our own technology and science...and the movie made no fucking sense.
So, long story hort, some asshole creates a bunch of war machines, the machines get too smart and turn on the humans (a la "The Terminator"). That part I can grasp. So, because all of this happened, a mad scientist transfers his soul into nine individual ragdolls with unique personality traits. That part, not so much. Why the hell would he need to do that? The cells we see forming at the end happened because of rain. The ragdolls didn't create the rain! They just ran around, spewing their despressing "our lives are difficult" babble, getting killed off by whatever the hell that machine-thing was, and then the ghost disappear into heaven and, in a perfect example of pathetic fallacy, it starts raining.
Woo.
So, what was the point? Did the scientist have any reason to create those ragdolls, other than to prove that he could pull off such a procedure in the first place? No. Sure, the ragdolls destroyed the machine, but by pure fluke. The scientists couldn't possibly have expected them to actually do it. Why was the monster eating ragdolls? Was that explained? No.
And if all the dolls were just bits of the scientist's soul, then why was one of them a woman? And why did another one of them fall in love with her? How the hell could a soul fall in love with itself?
I don't know, this movie was too fucking weird. I walked out of the theatre and spent the next two days trying to figure out what the hell it was I just watched. The animation looked great, but story-wise, it had all the appeal of an old shoe. People who were expecting the next "Nightmare Before Christmas" were definitely disappointed by this one.
I give it 2 Buttons out of 10.
"9" thrusts us into an unfamiliar reality, on our own planet, with our own technology and science...and the movie made no fucking sense.
So, long story hort, some asshole creates a bunch of war machines, the machines get too smart and turn on the humans (a la "The Terminator"). That part I can grasp. So, because all of this happened, a mad scientist transfers his soul into nine individual ragdolls with unique personality traits. That part, not so much. Why the hell would he need to do that? The cells we see forming at the end happened because of rain. The ragdolls didn't create the rain! They just ran around, spewing their despressing "our lives are difficult" babble, getting killed off by whatever the hell that machine-thing was, and then the ghost disappear into heaven and, in a perfect example of pathetic fallacy, it starts raining.
Woo.
So, what was the point? Did the scientist have any reason to create those ragdolls, other than to prove that he could pull off such a procedure in the first place? No. Sure, the ragdolls destroyed the machine, but by pure fluke. The scientists couldn't possibly have expected them to actually do it. Why was the monster eating ragdolls? Was that explained? No.
And if all the dolls were just bits of the scientist's soul, then why was one of them a woman? And why did another one of them fall in love with her? How the hell could a soul fall in love with itself?
I don't know, this movie was too fucking weird. I walked out of the theatre and spent the next two days trying to figure out what the hell it was I just watched. The animation looked great, but story-wise, it had all the appeal of an old shoe. People who were expecting the next "Nightmare Before Christmas" were definitely disappointed by this one.
I give it 2 Buttons out of 10.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Happy Canada Day, America!
So yesterday was the first of July, making it Canada Day. I find it strange that Canada Day is only three days before the 4th of July, which is the day that America chooses to celebrate Canada Day (those Americans, always trying to be different!).
I have no idea how old Canada is turning this year, but judging by the state of the polar ice caps and the age of some rock formations I saw in northern Alberta, I'm gonna say...twenty-six million, give or take.
For those of you not familiar with our home and native land, here are a few fuin facts about Canada Day. You can use these facts to impress your friends and co-workers!
-pilgrims chose to name the country Canada because their first choice, Grenada, was already taken.
-Canada is nicknamed "the Great White North", and it received that nickname because it is always snowing, in every single part of the country. Forever.
- some of the things invented by Canadians: hockey, basketball, ice cream, beavers, long underwear, lumberjacks, modesty
-the capital city of Canada is called Toronto, and it has the world's biggest radio tower in it.
-the Emperor of Canada is a man named Tim Horton.
-our national colour is plaid.
There you have it, true believers! Hopefully, you won't forget about Canada Day like I did, and next year you can celebrate it with fireworks and alcohol, just like the Ojibwa tribes used to do it!
Now I leave you with the parting words coined by the Canadians in 1987: "Smell ya later!"
;)
"Canada is, like, the Texas of America."
-Robin Joseph Williams, clearly confused
I have no idea how old Canada is turning this year, but judging by the state of the polar ice caps and the age of some rock formations I saw in northern Alberta, I'm gonna say...twenty-six million, give or take.
For those of you not familiar with our home and native land, here are a few fuin facts about Canada Day. You can use these facts to impress your friends and co-workers!
-pilgrims chose to name the country Canada because their first choice, Grenada, was already taken.
-Canada is nicknamed "the Great White North", and it received that nickname because it is always snowing, in every single part of the country. Forever.
- some of the things invented by Canadians: hockey, basketball, ice cream, beavers, long underwear, lumberjacks, modesty
-the capital city of Canada is called Toronto, and it has the world's biggest radio tower in it.
-the Emperor of Canada is a man named Tim Horton.
-our national colour is plaid.
There you have it, true believers! Hopefully, you won't forget about Canada Day like I did, and next year you can celebrate it with fireworks and alcohol, just like the Ojibwa tribes used to do it!
Now I leave you with the parting words coined by the Canadians in 1987: "Smell ya later!"
;)
"Canada is, like, the Texas of America."
-Robin Joseph Williams, clearly confused
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