Saturday, July 5, 2008

Noodles: The Silent Killer

I just ate a staple of bachelor life (which means I'd better get damn used to it): a bowl of macaroni and cheese. This was not Kraft Dinner at all, but a cheap knock-off called "Alice's". The noodles were shaped like shells.
I wonder what people were thinking when they were coming up with different shapes for noodles. I mean, KD is just a semi-circular shape with holes at either end. Then some people make shells, others make bow-ties. Penne noodles are cylindrical, either fat or thin. Spaghetti noodoes are long and tiresome.
So, out of all of these, which one is the original noodle? I mean, there had to be a first noodle, liek a prototype, and then some guy was like, "Hey...let's make shells instead of this." And then a bunch of people probably applauded.

A package of macaroni & cheese is evil. It tricks you. People like me wait until they're really hungry, then they make some. But, you ALWAYS get full before you can finish a full package. And what you have left over is too small to save for tomorrow but too much to be eaten now, since you've already had more than enough.
So, you just sigh and leave it. Then, the next day, you're feeling hungry again, and you see the pot on the stove & you think, "Oh, yeah. I have noodles waiting for me!" And then you lift the lid and there's just this awkward silence. Then you're like, "That's it?:"
It's like seeing a really bad movie that got hyped up too much. You can actually feel your face falling with disappointment. And you're tempted to make another pack, but then the problem is just gonna become cyclical.

The moral of the story?
Eat out.
Literally, not sexually.

You were thinking it.

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